It’s with a very heavy heart that I tell you our fur baby, Mango, passed away on October 11th, just 4 days short of his 17th birthday. My heart is beyond broken and I’m not exactly sure how to pick up the pieces.
Mango was my first love. I remember the exact moment I laid eyes on him. He was a tiny little nugget with the biggest eyes and two tiny teeth sticking out like a little bat. We were soulmates and it was love at first sight. He climbed right up into my lap and licked my face. He picked me. I was his and he was mine. We brought him and his sister home with us and life was forever better.
Mango (and Pandie) came into my life when I needed them most. I was a lonely, homeschooled teenager that was bouncing between parents and cities. They were my friends, my babies, my everything. My husband came into my life two years later and my life was officially complete.
It’s going to take a long time to get used to him being gone. He went everywhere with us. During his last few years we never spent more than an hour or two away from him. An incident happened to a Pandie a couple of years ago that made it impossible to leave them alone, and after Mango was diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension he would get too excited if we left and would have fainting spells. We didn’t mind having him constantly with us one bit because we wanted to soak up every second we could with them. He loved it too. He would cruise around in his stroller feeling like the king of the world in it.
Four days before his 17th birthday he began to rapidly decline. I had hope that we’d be able to adjust his medicine and he would be able to come home. Despite our best efforts and the efforts of our vets and canine cardiologist, Mango could no longer breathe on his own and passed away peacefully with us by his side. It still feels so surreal that he’s gone. Everything reminds me of him. I keep thinking I’ll see him around every corner, and sometimes I still see him out of the corner of my eye. I wake up and immediately think of him and then remember he’s gone and I die inside again. I have a constant painful, sinking feeling in my chest because I miss him so terribly. We all do. Even Pandie, she howls and cries for him, and up until a few days ago refused to eat and waits at her bowl for him to eat first.
Celebrating their birthday without him was one of the hardest things we’ve had to do, but we’re so grateful to still have Pan with us. Everything feels weird and it has been hard to get into the groove of the every day life without him. It’s going to take awhile to get used to. I don’t even remember what life was like before him. Caring for him and Pan is how we’ve spent literally half of our lives and now what? We’re wrecked but taking it minute by minute and giving ourselves as much time and self care as needed. Plus dealing with the loss of JV’s beloved grandmother two days after Mango just added to the grief. I won’t lie, it has been awful.
I can go on and on about what a special dog Mango was. I could talk about him for hours, and I often do. Anyone who has ever met Mango has a funny story about him. He was fiercely loyal, funny, adorable, the best road trip buddy, and kind of a jerk…but I loved that about him. I loved everything about him. I’ll miss his face, his smell, his noises, his bark. I’ll miss watching him sleep, and his forehead kisses, and the way it felt to pet the bridge of his nose with my thumb. Everything. I MISS EVERYTHING. He wasn’t just a dog or a pet to us. He was our baby and our son. He was one of a kind and no one will ever compare.
We’ll always be a family. We love you, my sweet boy. Forever.
10/15/2000 – 10/11/2017